It’s amazing how the holidays can add to your own personal emotional roller coaster. On one hand, it is a great way to forget about some of the stress of planning for a family. There are a lot of other things that you are forced to concentrate on – getting the right gifts, decorations, parties, planning, travel, dealing with family, heartwarming movies and stories, the magic of the season.
On the other hand, the holidays are a time for children. They’re the ones that get to believe in Santa Claus. They’re the ones that we help create the magic for. If you’re Christian, we celebrate the holiday in honor of the birth of the infant Jesus Christ. The baby who would change the world. When you’re at those holiday parties, often, everyone else’s children are there too. The discussion focuses on what they’re doing for their kids for the holiday. The kids are talking about what’s on their lists. “Watch it, Santa’s watching,” is a term heard everywhere. When it comes to gift time, the kids open first. The kids have the huge stack of gifts.
If you have to travel, you realize that everything revolves around the family members who have kids. The timing of events, the days of travel, who’s house you go to, even the rooms where everyone sleeps are based around those with kids.
Frustrating when it’s never you, isn’t it?
New Year’s comes around and everyone else can’t wait to get rid of their kids for a night so they can go out and party the adult way. When that ball drops and the two of you kiss, the only thought on your minds are, “God, I hope this year is it. This is the year it’s going to happen for us. What I wouldn’t give to have my baby with me right now.”
It seems like no one understands. And how can they really, unless they’ve been in the same situation as you?
I know I felt it more than usual this year. Other years, I still had a lot of hope. The holidays weren’t a really big deal. This year, it hurt more than usual. I guess because we’ve been trying for so long now.
I’m not saying that I don’t still have a lot of hope. Because I do. In fact, maybe even more. But I’m also more frustrated, and maybe that was part of it. The holidays have always been a magical time for me, even in recent years. So I know that despite what seems like kids being thrown in my face, I still have to hold on to that magic. I still have to enjoy that New Year’s kiss, and I still have to wish on the sparkly ball, or that sparkly star in the sky that this year IS going to be the year. This is going to be the year that changes everything!
Here’s to a hopeful New Year for all of us! (I’m tipping my pretend glass of champagne to you)
Happy New Year!